It's been a while since I posted and that is because I HAVEN'T SLEPT-ATE IN ALMOST A WEEK.
I just finished my Wong Kar-Wai midterm and wrote on the mastery of desire through abandoning it (mainly in Chungking Express). After the test I was so sad the teacher didn't talk to me, I cried in the school parking garage and kicked a cardboard box until I was laughing. The reason I bring this up is because I feel like sleep-eating has abandoned me because I reciprocated my desire for the sickness. Furthermore, I'm scared the object behind the reason I sleep-eat has shifted forms into sheer madness. The other example I'm willing to give up is the case of my bawling into the laundry basket, unprovoked. I know I spit a lot of shit about not wanting to become fat, but I'd rather be a big, fat fatty than a psychopath almost any day.
Back to what I was saying about reciprocation: I've started making extra dinner in consideration of sleep-eating. I box up the dinner and instead of hiding it like before, I place it in center-stage of the fridge. It's goes untouched until the next morning. Maybe my recognition of sleep-eating, this blog included, has created a mutual (waking) desire for it and therefore it has retreated back into my psyche and devolved into a typical mental-breakdown. B-O-R-I-N-G.
I just finished my Wong Kar-Wai midterm and wrote on the mastery of desire through abandoning it (mainly in Chungking Express). After the test I was so sad the teacher didn't talk to me, I cried in the school parking garage and kicked a cardboard box until I was laughing. The reason I bring this up is because I feel like sleep-eating has abandoned me because I reciprocated my desire for the sickness. Furthermore, I'm scared the object behind the reason I sleep-eat has shifted forms into sheer madness. The other example I'm willing to give up is the case of my bawling into the laundry basket, unprovoked. I know I spit a lot of shit about not wanting to become fat, but I'd rather be a big, fat fatty than a psychopath almost any day.
Back to what I was saying about reciprocation: I've started making extra dinner in consideration of sleep-eating. I box up the dinner and instead of hiding it like before, I place it in center-stage of the fridge. It's goes untouched until the next morning. Maybe my recognition of sleep-eating, this blog included, has created a mutual (waking) desire for it and therefore it has retreated back into my psyche and devolved into a typical mental-breakdown. B-O-R-I-N-G.
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