Appealing Appetizing pt. 1

Dear Good Friend,

I have long since ceased trying to understand the notion of "food fetishes"- saliva dissolving underwear, licking melted chocolate off a loved ones torso etc.- I dismiss the phenomenon as a happening that is just not meant for me.

What has come to irk me in recent weeks (I have waited to write you regarding this under the hope that the nagging will stop) is the appeal of personified products that (who?) take on the archetypes of the "sexy" one. I know there was a Squeeze-It Juice that (who?) fits into this category, also I'm almost sure there is a flavor of Runtz Candy of this variety as well. Look, I know this trend isn't new, I can trace it without much exertion back to the movie previews of the 1950's (I believe the Soda and/or Popcorn was "sexy"), but I cannot find a reason I can totally buy into for the purpose of these characterizations. I don't know where I'm going with this, but friend, I wanted to drop you a line so we can keep the lines of communication open in case you've lost sleep over this silly quandary as well.

As always, thank you,

Death Mask